In the last ten years, minimalism has influenced many trends. This includes the popularity of capsule wardrobes, the industry inspired by Marie Kondo (with her Netflix show, online store, and children’s book), and, of course, minimalist parenting.
What is minimalist parenting?
Even though it’s trendy, there isn’t just one clear definition of minimalism, especially when it comes to parenting in a minimalist way. The word “minimalism” originally came from an art movement in the 1960s and has only recently been used for our clothes, things, and home decor. When it comes to minimalist parenting, the idea gained popularity in 2013 when two moms, Christine Koh and Asha Dornfest, wrote the book Minimalist Parenting. Their approach involves having less of everything: fewer belongings, less busy schedules, and fewer interventions in a child’s life.
Like any trend, there’s always a reaction, especially in response to the era of overprotective parenting (like helicopter parenting and lawnmower parenting). This led people to look for ways to step back and do less. Similar to the broader minimalist movement, it’s about focusing on what your family truly needs and getting rid of the unnecessary.
Minimalist parenting is a lot like the idea in Kondo’s book, “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up,” which doesn’t believe in a one-size-fits-all approach to reducing clutter and having less. Kondo talks about how some people feel their lives are better with a big collection of books, while others might see unread or unenjoyed books as unnecessary noise in their homes. While Kondo’s method mainly deals with possessions, minimalist parenting looks at a broader picture, including family schedules, discipline, and play. Even if parents focus on reducing clutter, they can still see benefits in their daily lives.
What do the minimalist moms say
Nicole Cline, who writes the blog Not Quite Super Mom, shares that decluttering has been like magic for her kids. Their spaces are now organized with things they really use, and it has made a big difference. Even though they still have some rooms to clean up, she’s already seeing positive changes. By displaying toys that her kids truly enjoy, instead of having them lost in a mess of not-so-great stuff, her kids feel more in control and can entertain themselves. This not only reduces screen time but also means she hasn’t heard the phrase “There’s nothing to do” in a while.
Getting kids to have fewer things and not always wanting new, flashy toys can take some practice. Jewels, who writes the blog One Frugal Girl, has a helpful approach. Her kids, aged 4 and 8, review their “toy stash” monthly.
“We look at all the toys on the shelf, and I ask, ‘Do you play with this? When did you last play with it? Is this toy fun? Does your brother like playing with it? Does it make you happy to play with this toy?'” she tells SheKnows. If her kids hear about a toy from a friend, she asks them how much they would actually play with it and if they have other toys that can do similar things. This encourages imaginative play.
“Over time, I hope they learn that having lots of joy is more important than having lots of stuff! In fact, I want them to know that having fewer things often leads to more happiness,” she says about her philosophy.
Mandi Em, the mom behind Healthy Living for Hot Messes, talks about her main reason for minimalist parenting. She wants to break free from the tons of plastic stuff that accumulate when you have little kids. But it’s not just about her immediate family; it’s also about reducing waste overall.
One of the challenges for them is dealing with gifts and things from extended family. Mandi says, “People think buying toys and things is a way to show love to kids.” Not all minimalist parents handle new stuff the same way. Some don’t mind new things, whether from grandparents or others, as long as they give away older stuff. But for Mandi’s family, the goal is to have fewer things and, eventually, get rid of even fewer things to have a smaller impact on the environment.
“For parents dealing with too much kid stuff, my best advice is to learn and be very clear about why you’re setting boundaries on what comes into your home,” she says. If you understand why you don’t want more toys, setting limits with your kids and family is easier. She also suggests having alternatives ready for family members who want to give gifts. Local families can give the gift of time; even those far away have options. For example, grandparents who can’t be there in person can give museum memberships or treat the family to a Saturday movie matinee.
Sherry from Save Spend Splurge tells SheKnows that clutter, the environment, and finances influenced her choice to live a minimalist lifestyle with her family. She’s part of a growing movement aiming for early retirement and financial independence through frugal living. While not all frugal bloggers see themselves as minimalists, they share common ground, with a focus on minimizing possessions and shopping. Sherry is aiming for 90% savings this year by doing things like buying only secondhand clothes and getting books and movies from the library. Money is a big factor, but she also cares about the environment. Having less clutter also saves time—she spends just three hours a week cleaning because she has fewer things (she even skips having a couch in the family room for a more open space).
“Clutter also messes with your mind,” she says. “Looking at a messy desk, papers, and things you have to dust can cause stress in your subconscious. You don’t have to live in a box with empty white walls, but you also shouldn’t fill it with things that don’t mean much to you or that you don’t care about.”
Some parents take minimalist parenting to mean more than just having less stuff.
“To me, minimalist parenting is not so much about things but about seeing your child as an individual and parenting in ways that help them grow while not pushing my own desires onto them,” says Jessica James of Domestic Bliss Squared. This means letting her 11-year-old decide her bedtime as long as she’s okay in the morning and allowing her to pack her own lunches if they’re reasonably healthy. It’s not entirely free-range parenting. Her younger child, who is more impulsive, needs more help choosing healthy foods. So, she gives him a list of snacks he can eat without asking.
“If he doesn’t like dinner, he can choose from any healthy item on the list without me interfering,” she explains. Her philosophy is about “staying out of who they are as a person while providing guidelines for healthy growth.” She didn’t use the label “minimalist parenting,” but this aligns with what Alison Gopnik talks about in her 2016 book, “The Gardener and the Carpenter.” Gopnik, a psychology professor, argues that hands-off parenting, whether you call it minimalist or not, suits how children’s brains work better.
It can also benefit parents. Melissa Jennings from Stockpiling Moms says that for her, minimalism involves letting her 15-year-old make most of his own choices, with some guidance like teaching him to make a pro/con list. It also means avoiding an overly busy schedule. She says, “It’s the best decision we ever made, and it’s teaching my son responsibility. It’s truly freeing!”
The person who runs MomConfessions, who wants to stay anonymous, discovered that reducing schedules and being more hands-off has been good for everyone.
“My kids have become more creative with their time. I’m not always watching or pushing them, so they’re figuring out what they like. They’re free to explore and be independent,” they say. It’s also reduced stress for both the parent and the child.
There are various ways to blend the minimalist trend with parenting, whether it’s decluttering, reducing consumerism, or even adopting a less-involved parenting style. All the moms who identify as minimalists talked about similar results: more time together, more space for creativity and happiness, and more focus on core values.
Georgia from More Like Home gave a great overall definition of minimalist parenting: “It’s focusing on the things that truly matter to you and your family, and cutting out the things that don’t,” she says. There’s no specific set of wooden toys that can achieve this. When done thoughtfully and intentionally, this parenting philosophy can last much longer than any trendy “minimalism” label.
